im just a teenage dirtbag baby

been a while since ive blogged, except for theme thurdsay... must remember to do that lol
well. i've just been reading old blogs and realised that rather a lot of them are a bit depressive... so this blog today will be about happy things :)
happy things.. like rainbows and marshamallows? no....
okay, so maybe today really isnt the right day for my happy blog.... but i will write one, i promise! and it will be full of happy stuff - none of what i'm feeling right now.

about my post a while ago about me not knowing what to do with my life... wow i forgot i wrote that, but i still feel like that a bit. i think i will go to uni though, become a social worker. i see that as doing something useful with my life (hopefully) but maybe i want to do something more? i dont know.... the idea of bible college was a pretty good one... but theres nowhere to go with that! theres no job i want in that field! so i shall keep pondering and hopefully decide sometime before next year :P
thought for the day:
you know what? the whole 'don't worry, be happy' thing is a good idea but a lot easier said than done... but i believe it's possible and so that is what i shall try to do :)

theme thursday - bell

you know where the saying "Saved by the bell" came from? where you do or not, i'll explain... back in the day (this is hundreds of years ago) when they buried people, sometimes they had an illness that made them seem to be dead when they weren't. because of this, unfortunately, some people got buried alive. to prevent these people dying, when they were buried they would have a string attatched to a bell tied on their finger, so if they moved, they could be heard and rescued. sometimes i feel like i'm digging myself deeper and deeper and there seems to be no way out, but i was just thinking about this saying and how it's nice to know that even in a seemingly completely hopeless situation, there is always a way out, though it can be hard to find at the time

♫ i know how i feel, about you now..

Epic moment of realisation yesterday, and another one today. What are these realisations, you may be wanting to ask me? well well well i suppose i can tell you...
1) I am (officially) over him. have been for quite a while but proved it to myself last night
2) when it comes to dating, i am too shallow. hes a nice enough guy, but no. im not attracted so wtf can i do!!
there you go... one good realisation, and one bad. acutally considered goin owt with him to prove im not shallow, but no.... not a good idea methinks... so there you go. my life atm. oh and i nearly forgot to say to the guy of realisation 1) - fuck you. yep i think ive said everything now xD
Thought For The Day:
Though you may not be totally happy with who you are, you cant expect to change it overnight. or sometimes, (depends on what it is), change it at all. so get used to loving being yourself