well.

wow. you forgive someone over and over and then they just fucking hurt you again anyway. He really couldnt have hurt me more if he was fucking trying to. you cant just listen to what someone else thinks and then use that against me when you already knew exactly what they were going to think and then to fucking tell me i dont care about them? that was just too far. and then to tell me we cant go out for reasons you knew before we were going out? that is complete bullshit.
I really don't think i have EVER been this mad, ever.
or this hurt.

theme thursday - sign

sometimes, people just don't get it even though thats what all the signs point to. you miss what the person was trying to tell you. guys especially, in my experience, are good at missing point entirely. not noticing the subtle hints. ignoring the signs or maybe not even realising they've been there all along. the right thing to do? the signs will lead you to it if you only look.

this life is anything but certain, but when they close the final curtain we'll get a glimpse of the truth

So. on friday, we had a christian focus day. it ended up being nowhere near as bad as i expected it to be! i even believe that i actually learnt something! the highlight of the day was the speaker, Rob Fox. He was a really good speaker and an amazing guy in the face of adversity. Anyways, he got us to talk about things that made us happy and things that make us sad or angry. So i thought i'd share them on here :)

Things That Make Me Happy:
1) Cory and Mia, my darling siblings who i love to bits
2) Those good friends i can talk to about anything
3) Pink Lamingtons

Things that make me sad/angry
1) Hypocrisy
2) People who abuse others (physical, verbal, any kind really)
3) Thoughtlessness

I hope you have now learnt more than you wanted to know about me :p oh! and guess what! for once, I'm writing a blog when I am in a happy mood :D so unusual! enjoy the non-depressiveness while it lasts, tho i may be like this for a while

Thought For The Day:
♫ whyd you have to go and make things so complicted?
well it sounds like that song was written about me right now, i know. i wish things didn't have to be so complicated but i guess life being simple wouldn't end up being as great as you would think it'd be anyway. maybe if life wasn't complicated, it'd be boring.

everything about you seems to be a lie, a guiltless twisted lie

im having my birthday party on saturday (only like a month late :P) and i have to say that i am pretty damn excited about it!!! It is an Alice in Wonderland Tea Party and we are all dressing up as characters from Alice in Wonderland, and then the girls are staying over at my house and we are going to see the movie the next day :) i have a couple of costumes i could go for that i cant decide between... im going as the queen of hearts and outfit 1) is very regal and queen-like but outfit 2) is quite slutty and very hearts-like... i like slutty.... :P haha nah but i dont know, i cant choose! lol. and its really good that this year it will strictly only be people that i actually want there, im not doing the polite thing by inviting whoever thinks they should come, but only people i actually like, so im pleased about that. its gonna be epic :)
im sort of.. meh... at the moment. a few certain people are acting weird/different and i don't know what to do with any of them! i always think i'll feel better if i just think things through about this but it only makes me feel worse and totally helpless, as with all these people i don't see that there is anything i can do to help the situation but i'm not the sort of person to just sit back and let whatever happens, happen. but i dont know what course of action to take! so i suppose that i shall have to wait and see, just this once. but i hate it.
Thought for the Day?
I know that I don't always have the answers to every situation. Or any answer at all to any situation. But God does, and He has a plan for my life so I've just gotta trust that He knows what's going on and that it's the best for me in the long run. Trust is an overused word, it's a bigger concept than most people realise. To trust someone is to let them have the control and you to not worry about them screwing it up. So i'm handing it over to God bcos he won't screw up. His ways are perfect and i trust that, although everything seems to be going wrong at the time.

theme thursday - green

green, to me at least, represents curiosity. I have no idea why, but have always linked the two in my mind - green represents curiosity.
curiosity.
you know when you meet someone new and you want to find out more about them? im like that at the moment but it is utterly confusing as i am hearing all different stories from all sides. therefore i have decided that i must get to know them myself and disregard all that i have heard/thought i knew because it's all contradictory and if i tried to sort it all out in my mind, i'd just get more confused. they say curiosity killed the cat, but there are cats ALIVE all over the world so this must not always be true?