Sunday, January 23, 2011

Next time you point a finger, I'll point you to the mirror

I'm turning 18 in less than three weeks. I was so excited about that a month ago. But now it's like it doesn't matter. Nothing matters when the biggest part of your life is just gone.
Now, thinking about turning 18 it hits me;
I don't know what I want to do.
I don't know where my life is going.
I don't know what the year will bring.
I thought that by 18 I'd have it all together, I'd know what to do in any given situation.
But instead, I find myself falling apart at the seams.

I really hope that this time next year, I can look back at this post and think, "You know, I did really got it together this year. I achieved something. I know where I'm headed."
But I doubt it, I really do.

Lately, my birthdays have sucked. When I turned 17 I was a fricken school camp. Whoo. It was just a normal day; other than being woken with a rendition of happy birthday, the day carried on like any other. It was utterly depressing. And this one will probably suck just as much. I'm going to make it as fun as I can but there's only so much I can do. I wish I could skip from the 11th to the 13th and be suddenly 18 without the actual birthday day. Why can't you do that?!

You know, I really only post when I'm sad. And I'm sorry for that. But it just goes to show that the last 7 months of my life were the happiest, despite what you may think.

This post is a little too close to home, I almost don't wanna post it, but what the hell not many people read it anyway.

No comments:

Post a Comment